Introducing... QUEER TECH SUPPORT
log a ticket with IT
INT. OFFICE - EVENING
A well-dressed OFFICE-WORKER (you) sits in front of a computer, looking stressed and frustrated. The computer screen displays various error messages and pop-up ads for dating sites and pornography.
Suddenly, a hunky IT GUY (me) enters the room.
IT GUY (smiling): Did somebody say tech support?
The IT GUY leans over the computer, and the OFFICE-WORKER can't help but admire his muscles and rugged good looks.
OFFICE-WORKER (under their breath): Wow, he's just my type of... queer tech support.
IT GUY (grinning): Looks like your computer just needed 2 in the usb slots and 1 in the hdmi. A word of advice, maybe steer clear of those single mums in your area, they're more trouble than they’re worth.
Do you need help:
asking out your sexy sentient AI?
torrenting the latest season of The L Word?
leaving SBF’s polycule after the collapse of his crypto empire?
beating the rat-king boss fight in The Last of Us videogame?
Well you’ve come to the right place! No problem is too big or too small — just log a ticket with Queer Tech Support and we’ll get back to you within 7 to 325 business days with a solution.
DISCLAIMER: Your support ticket will remain anonymous, however it may be published on the newsletter.
Example Queer Tech Support tickets
Gays&Confused — I think I'm in love with my computer. Can you help me install a better graphics card so I can see its pixels in all their glory?
NonBinaryBabe — My smart speaker keeps misgendering me, can you help me fix it?
HomoHacker — I’m looking for a fellow tech-savvy guy for a rendezvous of the geeky kind. He needs to be able to debug my hardware and hack into my firewall … if you know what I mean. Where can I find my Mr. Robot?
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